Here I am Again

Yet again for the third time this week...I am sitting in the study lounge doing absolutely nothing but listening to my ipod and laughing along with friends. This should be the life...this should be the happiest times of my life but for some reason something is missing. I don't know what it is but it's really starting to take a toll on me. Its days like today I wish things weren't so hard all the time. I just need something to be easy because I've been fighting to keep my head above water for so long now. I shouldn't be complaining about anything because in reality I have a great life and truly couldn't ask for anything more. I think it's because I don't belong here, but maybe that's just an illusion. I hope things will get better soon...but the only way to make that happen is to do something about it right?